put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
