Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
