In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
