Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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