I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
