I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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