I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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