my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
