Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
