What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
