Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
