Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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