why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
But break dance skills will only take you so far
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
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