what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
