are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
You're a disaster
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