mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
