shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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