i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
