Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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