the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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