the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
