YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
