found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
