got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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