I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
