I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
