I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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