The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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