Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
