Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
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