your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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