sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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