gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
