i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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