i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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