Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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