Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
