I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
