Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
