3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
