I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
