There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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