he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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