So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
