i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
