Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
