youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
