I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Randomize
