So drunk, too bad you don't want this
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
