she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
