why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
