i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
